Seven Deadly Draculas

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A Halloween FilmFest!

It’s Halloween! A perfect time for remakes since the horror genre is replete with remakes. To celebrate the occasion, I figured what could be better than to examine not only one of the most remade films of all time, but one of the most iconic figures in horror cinema: Dracula.

There have been practically countless films made about Dracula, but I wanted to focus only on theatrical releases based on the original Bram Stoker novel. You know, to narrow it down a bit. Well, that still left me with seven films. Yes, seven. But what could be more appropriate considering there are the same number of Deadly Sins?

While the variance between the movies is rather great, I must say I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was not one bad picture in the bunch. I thought for sure at least one would be a slog, but I actually found each film rather engaging, albeit in different ways. It seems that Stoker’s original text is only to be approached with respect. Perhaps the fear of nosferatu inspires it.

However, I don’t want to lavish unyielding praise, either. Each film has its shortcomings as well as its strengths. So, I thought it would be fun to assign to each of the films one of the Seven Deadliest Sins. Shall we?

Note: this article assumes at least a passing knowledge of the source material, Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula, and thus will not provide a synopsis as other articles do. Thus, any discussion of the films’ deviations from the source is written as if understood. For a quick synopsis, click here. Also, one might simply assume that Dracula dies at the end of each of these films. That would be wrong.

Fun with Dick and Jane (1977 / 2005)

George and Jane verses Jim and Téa

"Life sucks," says Dick.

From 1930 until the early 1970s, Dick and Jane and their friends helped first graders learn to read in classrooms all across America. These films have precisely nothing to do with that. This writer is too young to have ever laid eyes on the once ubiquitous children’s primer, but doubts that they tackled such issues as joblessness, armed robbery, and corporate corruption.

The remake is an update more than anything and so it doesn’t depart much from the original. The basic story is that Dick and Jane Harper (George Segal and Jane Fonda in the 1977 version; Jim Carrey and Téa Leoni in 2005) are a couple on the fast-track to success. Things take a turn for the worse when Dick loses his job and, despite months of searching and frugal living, he is unable to find new employment. Faced with mounting debt and desperation, the couple eventually resorts to a life of crime to pay the bills. Hilarity ensues.